A voice for the voicelessMy Honour is their shame

About Jasvinder Sanghera

Jasvinders Story So Far

Early Life and the Shadow of Forced Marriage

Born and raised in Derby, England, to a family of Indian descent, Jasvinder Sanghera’s childhood was shaped by the cultural norms and expectations of her community. At the tender age of 14, she was faced with the prospect of forced marriage, a practice that sought to control her life and deny her the freedom to choose her own path.

A Bold Decision: Breaking Free from Tradition

Jasvinder’s spirit, however, refused to be confined by the shackles of tradition. With unwavering courage and determination, she made the life-altering decision to defy the arranged marriage and escape the oppressive environment of her home. This act of defiance, though fraught with immense personal risk, marked the beginning of her journey towards self-discovery and empowerment.

Navigating the Challenges of Escape

Fleeing her home, Jasvinder embarked on a challenging path of independence and self-reliance. She faced numerous obstacles, from financial struggles to social isolation, as she sought to build a new life for herself, free from the constraints imposed upon her.

Jasvinder Sanghera
Jasvinder Sanghera Talks

The Spark of Advocacy: A Voice for the Voiceless

Jasvinder’s personal experiences ignited a fire within her, a burning passion to advocate for others who were trapped in similar circumstances. She became a voice for the voiceless, speaking out against the injustices of forced marriage, honour-based abuse, and other forms of gender-based violence.

A Pioneer for Change: Inspiring and educating others about the importance of how 'Cultural Acceptance does not mean accepting the Unacceptable.’

Jasvinder’s unwavering commitment to advocacy and her tireless efforts have not only raised awareness about the hidden realities of honor abuses, child marriages, and forced marriages, but have also inspired and educated others to understand that “Cultural Acceptance does not mean accepting the Unacceptable.” Through her work, she has effectively framed and helped others frame these abuses within a safeguarding framework, debunking the misconceptions that these harmful practices are somehow religious, traditional, or cultural. Moreover, her efforts have brought about changes in legislation, resulting in the establishment of the first criminal offence of forced marriage in England and Wales.

A Trailblazer for Change: Inspiring Others to Break the Silence

Jasvinder’s unwavering commitment to advocacy has made her a trailblazer for change. Her tireless efforts have raised awareness about the hidden realities of forced marriage and honour-based abuse, challenging harmful societal norms and empowering others to break the silence.

Jasvinder Sanghera in a nutshell

In March 2020 Jasvinder was interviewed by Charlotte Ruth of Ash Magazine. Read the full interview here.

Illustration by J C Cowans
Illustration by J C Cowans

A Legacy of Courage, Resilience, and Hope

Jasvinder Sanghera’s story is a testament to the power of courage, resilience, and the unwavering belief in one’s own strength. Her journey from a victim of oppression to an advocate for change has inspired countless individuals to defy societal expectations and pursue their own destinies. Her legacy will continue to empower generations to come, paving the way for a world where individual freedom and dignity are upheld for all.

Timeline

Hover or tap the pictures for more info

1965

Born upside down, in Derby, England. My parents didn’t name me for weeks, so the nurses named me Sue. My life today is owed to the courage of my parents who arrived in Britain as migrants in search of a better future for their children.

Popsie

A man of few words but with a big heart, providing for his family working in Qualcast (foundry) in Derby. I missed him the most when my family disowned me, I would go to Derby to watch him from afar walking back home from his nightshift at 6am, just to be close but dare not approach him for fear of being rejected

1973

Unbeknown to me, 8 years old promised into a marriage which would be revealed on that fateful day aged 14, after a normal day from school.
Rare pic of me as a child!

First Child – Enter Natasha

I was 19 years old, disowned but my sister Robina convinced my mum to visit in hospital only for mum to sit with her back to me. I didn’t care because I was now a mother and Natasha put me onto the path of what true meaning of what a mother should be, and the meaning of unconditional love and regard.
Me 19 with my first child, I was disowned at this point and had depression and agoraphobia!

Twenties

Life as a market trader, living in Bradford was tough as I was in the heart of the Asian community, a constant reminder of my family. I was depressed and lived in hope of their acceptance, still believing I was the bad guy

Audi Quatro 1987

My first car, it took four tests before I passed! The echoes of the voices of how I 'would amount to nothing', led to years of no confidence, low self-worth, esteem contributed to not believing in myself.

The 90s

Divorced, only to marry again this time expressing myself, growing in confidence moving on and check out the perm!

Robina

We shared a bed, walked to school together, laughed, played Charlies Angels, talked in secret, she was my elder sister. My greatest loss when she was taken out of school and forced to marry and later in her life tragically committed suicide by setting herself on fire.

1993 Karma Nirvana

A charity is born in my front room, in Robina’s memory. My place is to make a difference, to break the silences of the many experiencing forced marriages and honour abuses.

Keep Fit Classes

Indian Community Centre, Guru Ravidass Centre, St James Centre, Pakistani Community Centre, Derby, anywhere to reach women so I could share my story and news of Karma Nirvana

1997

Never read a book until I was 27, now a graduate, pregnant in my final year and delivered my first speech as student vote of thanks to an audience of hundreds at Derby Assembly Rooms.

1997

Told that it was not wise to have any more children after my second, but you know me! Enter Jordan my first son. Whilst pregnant I was separated, we lived in one room and this picture was taken in our first house in I bought in Oakwood, Derby
A rare picture of my mother who to me in this picture looks softer maybe because she was ill with cancer?

Guardian Angel

Trish came out of nowhere at a time when I was at my lowest point, barefoot, pregnant & my partner having an affair. She knocked at my door and her care is one that continues to feed my spirit. She is the place I go to when I don’t have the answers & birthing partner with Jordan. I love you Trish

Mother Marianne

Many special people touched our lives in the absence of family. Your love and guidance enabled me to feel the love of a mother. Mother, grandmother and one that taught me to love myself more.
Speaking at one of the many thousands of conferences/events this was a government international conference

Shame – Sunday Times Bestseller

I did it! I get to tell my story, thank you Mark Lucas for believing in me, especially when I didn’t believe in myself.

Ted Talk

I continued to pray for platforms to speak, thousands now as I moved from one person to thousands who wanted to listen.
My book Daughters of Shame
One of many radio interviews but this was special as it was Desert Island Disc!

Greatest achievements is other survivors

Sharing the stories of other men and women. One of my greatest achievements, other survivors coming forward to share their experiences, no longer alone.

After a ten year campaign, in 2014

10-year campaign, finally forced marriage became a criminal offence, and victims can now own this as a crime.
Shame Travels
I never got to visit India with my father as he said ‘Shame Travels’ but I got to go and find the sister I had never met.

Big Fat Indian Wedding

A pic of my daughter’s wedding – She had this day because of the decision her mother made when she was 16, friends played the role of family and such joy.
I campaigned for a national day of memory to honour the memories of those women murdered in dishonourable killings. This was the first day in London and you have me, my daughter and 2 dedicated police officers.
Signing one of my books and meeting a lot of survivors on my travels whose lives have been touched by my story which I have always believed to be one of many.
CBE Commander of the Order of British Empire
40 years after disownment, still standing and honouring my decision to say no to a forced marriage. Empowered by the knowledge that I stand taller, with no shame.

2018 – heading 25 years of KN

Time to step down my work is done and now many others are taking forward the issues, leaving a legacy.
My retirement party 2018 a surprise and the chair is Bobby Friction the first Asian man to join the KN campaign and became a patron!

Me Too

Reporting sexual harassment by a senior member of the House of Lords was one of the most challenging decisions I have ever made. Fortunately, my complaint was one of the first ones, and it was successfully upheld, resulting in significant and lasting changes.(If this is too long take out mine was successfully upheld)

Sea

The first time I saw the sea I was 18, missing my family terribly and tempted to go back and marry the stranger. The sea made me believe there was more and I dared to think outside my circumstances it gave me hope. One day I said I will live by the sea and I am now living the dream.
With my partner Jon Agyeman at the launch of the 'Voice & Vote' book in 2018, commissioned by Buckingham Palace, which I was delighted to be included in, as one of the 100 women deemed to have made a key contribution to women's causes. It celebrates 100 years of votes for women and marks the centenary of the Representation of the People Act, which granted the vote to women in the UK for the first time.
Legacy is so important to me and these are my grandchildren whose lives of freedom and independence started with grandma’s decision at 16.
Successfully campaign in collaboration with Cosmopolitan magazinefor a national Day of Memory, inspired by the experiences of Shafilea Ahmed murdered by her parents. Aim is to honour the memories of these honourable men and women.
Speaking to Trade Union Audience - Rights of Women and Girls
Day of Memory with the lead investigator detective Geraint Jones whose investigation moved me to campaign for a day of memory for those murdered in dishonourable killings.
My daughter Natasha who is now the Executive Director of Karma Nirvana taking forward the legacy of campaigning, she is a Barrister but has a now taken on the cause and this really makes me feel proud. We were at an award ceremony where her Mum was nominated for a Northern Power Award.
- I worked on Honour Diaries project and this is me working raising awareness about these abuses.
Another radio interview most were live and always an opportunity to break the silences!
The best is yet to come

Tell me your story

Let me help you reclaim your honour